I stood in the rain... Waiting patiently for the time to come.
And at last.. You showed up... But in a masked face.
I reached out to you. To touch your mind.
I just wanna share that agony you might be feeling.
But you slapped that hand away from yourself, and continue to manipulate me.

I thought to myself...
"Did I do the right thing?"
"Whats wrong with me?"
"You... prefer someone else?"
"What Happen?"
"Maybe I should try to be myself.."
"Should I be straight-forward?"
"Seems that its getting worse..."
"I wished I had not attempted that..."

I'm losing hope and faith.

I just wished you'll open up.
Sadly, that hasn't happened yet.
I just realized you were looking from another perspective.
You didn't realize that yet.
You've probably lost that feeling.
I'm still clinging onto it.
Am I really being treated like a fool? Like Child's play?
Probably. Just that I can't bring myself to it until the truth is placed right in-front of my face.
As we all know... The Truth hurts.
I still hunger for it.


So...
Heres my last sentence for you.
The ambers are here for you to re-kindle.
Its about time they get lit-up, extinguished with cold icy water, or slowly die off as time goes by.
In another words, that feeling I have for you is expiring.


" ill Et Elle... Un Amour, Un Coeur, Amour Eternal "
"He and She... One love, One heart, Everlasting love"

=========================================================

Tuesday, 19th January 2010


After a long day in school...
As I was heading back home to prepare for a tuition...
I board a bus, sat next to the exit entrance.
A group of Paya Lebar Methodist girls, board the bus, stood beside me.

And the most unusual thing occurred to me:


Girl No.1 : You know Angeline?
Girl No.2 : Yeah?
Girl No.1 : Shes so cute right?!
Girl No.2 : Exactly!
Girl No.1 : I think I like her
Girl No.2 : Really arh?
Girl No.1 : Can don't tell anyone? *Smiles*
Girl No.2 : Sure Sure! Hehehe
(I nearly laughed)
Girl No.1 : Shes so pretty... Unlike Jenny, so ugly.
Girl No.2 : (Hahahaha) Ya lor
Girl No.1 : I think shes straight... Maybe not... err
Girl No.2 : Just tell her that you like her lor

Another guy, 16 or 17 years old, widened his eyes when he heard that.

Then.. I wonder to myself ...
"Girls in all-Girls schools are more prone to be lesbians?? Its a miracle Boys in all-Boys schools are less prone to be Gays."

Another thing...
It seems normal when girls hold each other's hand and say "I Love you" to each other. A quick peck seems fine, but not a long kiss.

But, its the exact opposite for boys.
When Boys hold hands... Yuck.
When a boy says "I Love you" to another boy, It became unpleasant to hear.
When a boy kisses another boy, its plain gay.

When Girls talk about Gays, they will giggle and laugh as if it was the best joke of the century.
I mean, come on, its not even the least funny.

When Boys talk about Lesbians, they either sigh or stop talking about them entirely.

-------------------

At the moment.... Planning lots of courses for the Scouts :D
Although being a Public Relations Officer is a hectic job,
Its still really fun, enjoyable and interesting.
(I can collect the badges, re-stock badge box and get the badges for myself first :P)
And to plan badge courses, which I find, really meaningful and fun.

I have to give credits to my sirs and all who helped me :D

We had an SCC meeting today (to plan for other scout meetings).
Theres only 4 of us, but we did way better than the SCC meeting on Monday :D
Much easier to plan when you aren't being watched by your seniors. The ideas simply flow from our head.
Gonna work hard for Chief Commissioner's Award... And to study even harder too, of course.

Scouts Movement

I was a Scout since Primary 5.
I decide to join the Scouts cause..
1. I love to pitch tent and camp out in the woods when I was young.
2. My father was once, a Rover (JC/Poly) scout.
3. I love the badges, and how creative the CCA - Scouts, can be.
4. I definitely love to be a leader.

My brief History :

When I was a Cub scout (Primary School)...
All I ever did was to go for Meetings, and play games which requires teamwork..
My teacher didn't taught us much.
All I ever remember was to volunteer for many events (Sixer's camp, for Sixer and Senior Sixer) but end up being forgotten for it..
I just remember being taught the Scout Promise & Law, which I find, really meaningful.

Secondary Level.

I attended the CCA Fair, and came across the Scout Booth, which our teacher brought us to.
As a Cub scout, I thought it would be much more interesting and fun to be a Scout (Since they were wearing long pants with a green beret while cub scouts wore short ugly pants and a watermelon cap).
Our Guide was Venture Aaron-James.
Someone asked if the tower they build, would fall. Venture Aaron demonstrated in-front of him, by climbing onto the tower.
My personal guide during the free-time, was once PL, Chor Hong. He explained to me all the proficiency badges to the best of his abilities, and showed me around for quite awhile.
Oh, and I signed the list straight away, and was glad to be selected. :D

Secondary One:

There were no punishments given to us for the first month.
I was excited when we were informed that we are going to buy our uniforms, boots, scarfs, etc.
Through the year, we were being punished.
I remembered being immature and saying stuffs I do not mean.
I begin to lose hope as my mind was on the wrong setting. As a frail boy at that time, I could not do proper push-ups.
I keep skipping Scout Meetings, as I thought there will always be punishments without fail.
I just don't see the light in those punishments, we rightfully deserve.
I volunteered for National Patrol Camp.
Trainings were tough. I came for every single-day trainings, but I skipped some camps....
Which... Yeah, I regretted.
I could have learned alot, and I knew I would've been selected had I commit myself to these.
Nowadays, whenever I see my scouts, walking around with an NPC badge on their uniform, I sigh to myself.

I was not promoted to Assistant Patrol Leader.

Secondary Two:

I continued the bad habit of skipping meetings.
I respected the newly-promoted APLs by calling them using their title.
I did my best for pioneering, and it improved tremendously.

I remember coming for one meeting, and Benjamin Sir told me this.
"Kevin, you're once a cub scout, don't let your Scouting Spirit die."

Hell yeah. Thats when I woke up and start coming for meetings regularly.

After that meeting, Gary Sir asked us everyone if anyone of us is interested in working hard for Chief Commissioner's Award, the highest award available to a scout.
I volunteered myself and thereby, I have to send an application to him of why I decide to pursue it.
From his expression on the next meeting, after sending the application, he seem to be contented with what I sent.

End of Secondary 2,
I thought I was selected to be a Chief Quartermaster.
I attended Annual Training Camp '09 and on the last night, I was selected to be a Patrol Leader through the ceremony.
I was darn happy and proud, alright.


Secondary 3, (Present):

As a new Patrol Leader,
I believed in Leader-Follow relationships. It would serve me well in the long run, as long as it isn't false intentions. It has to be mutual.
Should the scouts ever committed a mistake, I would punish them with a suitable reason.
I will embrace the physical pain brought upon them, with some reasons and something after the meeting, to make them smile.

I became wiser, and initiative enough to volunteer and do stuffs.
My uniform is now adorned with souvenir badges, proficiency badges, etc.
And I did notice something about myself - I wore the uniform with more pride than my past.
Almost all of my scout-mates would give a "wah!" or simply asked about the proficiency badges.

Saturday - 16th Jan 2010,

Went to the Gym and Swimming pool in Farmway community club with the ventures, Gary Sir, and my fellow Chief Commissioner's Award applicants.
I had fun along with Michael, Nathan and Brandon. :D
We were training to be fit for Chief Commissioner's Award.

Thereafter, went to the Scout shop/HQ in Bishan with Gary Sir and Brandon Tan.
Bought some socks, scarf, venture training scheme and venture record book (To read it up in advance, though I've not arrived at that level yet :P)
Brandon bought some souvenir badges as collection.
I bought for him a Venture training scheme and Venture record book too.

Went home, turned on the computer for facebook, then fell asleep.

I will work hard for Chief Commissioner's Award, and perhaps work hard too, for the most prestigious award in the Venture Section - President's Scout Award (PSA). I heard the individual being awarded with it will get to meet President S.R. Nathan and appear on the newspaper. Not sure about it.

Nowadays, I keep playing games. School, since the start, has been enjoyable. The new classmates I met were great. The teachers are awesome too. I just dislike the chinese teacher :/ . Cai Lao shi, Loh Guat Bee.
The Geography/Social Studies teacher is an experienced and interesting one.
Maths teacher is good too.
Hmm... English teacher... Good too.

Sleepwalker By Adam Lambert

I saw a picture of you...
Handing in an empty hallway.
I heard a voice that I knew...
And I couldn't walk away.
It took me back to the end.
Of everything,
I taste it all, I taste it all
The tears, again.

Outside the rain's fallin' down
There's not a drop that hits me
Scream at the sky but no sound
Is leavin' my lips
It's like I can't even feel
After the way you touched me
I'm not asleep but I'm not awake,
After the way you loved me...

I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you...
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream

Everywhere that I go
I see another memory
And all the places we used to know
They're always there to haunt me
I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely
You're everything that I want
But you don't want me

I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you...
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream, dream
Let me out of this dream

I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around with my eyes wide shut because of you...
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream.

Homage

Today.... Nothing much again.
Just went to Aunt House and play games...

Heard from my Sis that Avatar is really nice.
Yeah, judging from the brief storyline she said, i think it is.
Gonna find people to watch it with me.
If you wanna watch it too, sms me :D

Now I m writing a few Report to achieve my Proficiency badges :D
Sir said I could wear my Standard badge since I only have to complete the easiest part - FootDrill.
haha. This is gonna be so sweet

Annual Training Camp - Hell Yeah.

Just came back today :D
Annual Training Camp (Scouts) was way better than what I had thought to be.
Had to bring a huge hoversack :/ can't walk properly as it was bulky.

I m a Probational Patrol Leader now instead of a Probational Chief Quartermaster.

Day one, 14th December 2009

Arrived on time in school to board the bus to Sarimbun Scout Camp.
Its located in Lim Chu Kang.

The day before, I carved a wood found outside my house, producing smooth plate edges and the word, S.C.O.U.T.
I revealed it from my plastic bag to show a fellow friend, and Ben sir caught sight of it
He was amazed by the creation and wanted to obtain it as a souvenir for the Scout Den.

Arrived in Sarimbun Scout Camp.

Afternoon -
All of us kept getting pumped, and running from area to area.
sigh...

Evening -
Had a great dinner. Though the Camp Cooks gave alot, it was really delicious.

Nighttime -
My patrol is on Guard Duty.
Theres recently cases of dogs being aggressive and attacking campers.
So the protection we could put up is to arm ourselves with sharp-pointed poles, torchlight, doggy treats.
Don't underestimate our poles as weapon. I can swing it well!

So far, we only sighted a dog trying to enter our campsite.


Its really dark. I could barely see anything.
Got bored after awhile. Wish to sleep as soon as our shift is over.

Just as we were about to sleep...
Two whistle blows are heard.
It meant Fire Drill.....
ZZZzzz

Day Two, 15th December 2009

Morning -

Physical Training.

Followed by breakfast and later on, Kayaking.

Afternoon -

Came back from Kayaking.
Our clothes and footwear are soaked.

We played a simple but uniquely fun game.
The rules are simple -> We have to blindfold ourselves with out scarf, and make many turns to reach the sir's dormitary.
It was much interesting when we observe how we travel along the fields in different groups, looking like idiots while trying to feel our way around.
The first round was done by my scouts and I. The ventures just sat on a bench and watched.
I was holding on to Marcu's shoulders.
He suddenly hit the flagpole.
I thought I would be smarter than him as not to hit the same flagpole. So I lost my grip on his shoulder, and wander aimlessly, trying to locate them again. And I collide into another flagpole.
Venture Jolian then pulled me away from my team members, into a lowered terrain.
They laughed at us when we pulled off our blindfolds.
Venture Jolian mimicked us:
"hahahaha, you know you all look like idiots while walking"
he started to play out as us, walking wobbly with hands up high and ramming into something hard.

After that, the venture tried to blind-walk. They did no better than us lol
As soon as they start, they immediately walked off-course with a left turn. They almost hit the fence.
Another one was when the church groups came out of their dormitary, and the ventures were using the walls as guidance to reach the other end.
They had to pass by many people, who were wondering what we were doing.

Thereafter, we got punished by Miss Siti (The other group was selfish to an extent that it pissed her)


While being punished, theres a Church Group camping too (or rather living in domitaries instead of Ridge Tents.)
They start blurting out useless, nonsensical and immature comments. The worst? Hiding behind window panes, being a wuss by not saying it infront of our face alone.


These snobs, scrubs, immature, short-visioned tards should burn in hell. They've probably read their bible upside down.
They came from Raffles Institution too. Perhaps the girls are from Raffles Girls School too. Figures. Grouping these bitches and assholes together.

Evening -
Had a 'Confidence walk' in the dark. Similar to a Night walk. Just that we have to be tested with questions related to Scouts.

My cousin just arrived in the camp.

We need not do guard duty on that day.



Day 3 16th, December 2009

Morning -
Inspection did not turn out really well.
We had to do loads of punishment.
At a point, my whole body start to tremble.
Shaun Sir noticed that, and he checked if I was okay.
He sent Venture John to check me once more at our campsite.
Venture John said I trembled alot, which means I am really tired, and have to rest.

I sat in the Kitchen shed to recover myself.

Minutes later, the bitch and assholes church group walked on a pathway 4 metres away from the kitchen shed.
Venture Brian and Venture Joshua was seeking out each other's opinion as to which girl is more pretty and hot.
They came to a conclusion that they are all dressed like sluts and wore a face that just look like a bitch.
Venture Joshua started hurling insults at the bitches loudly.
Venture Joshua :"Oi Bitch! Bitch!"
When the church group looked at him, he felt a little ashamed and start to back out from his actions.
Venture Brian then backed him and said "Hey! don't be a pussy! Just call them a bitch! feel no shame!"
Venture Brian said it louder :"ey Bitch! Ey bitch! Oi Bitch!"

I usually don't side with criticism and hurting other's feelings, but I think those girls deserved it since they are bitches of a kind.

Afternoon -
We had to do backwoodsman cooking again.
I learned many backwoodsman techniques from Venture Aaron and SL Shaun.

Evening -
We taught knots to the Sec 1s to pass their standard.

Shaun Sir approached me and told me that due to the wood that I carved out, I could get a Craftsman Proficiency badge if I write a report on how I carved it, where it came from and the reason why I m doing it.

Nighttime -
We have to partake in a Ceremony where the new Probational Assistant Patrol leaders and Patrol leaders are selected and the promotion of an Adult Leader to Assistant Venture Scout Leader.

Jonathan Koh's name was announced as one of the Probational Assistant Patrol Leader.
He just raised his hand and stared into blank space without acknowledging SL Shaun.

After that, Ben sir said we can take a good rest, no time limit to reach our tents, no exact time for lights out and no PT the next day, plus an additional sleep time for us.

Everyone went into a fit of joy when sir said that :D
We were overjoyed and many people were congratulating me for becoming a probational Patrol Leader.


Out of Concern, I asked Jonathan why he stood in the ceremony without acknowleding Sir.
He said he was shocked.

Day 4, 17th December 2009
Nothing much, just packing up and heading back to School.

Really happy today ^^ Back home resting well and enjoying myself. Maybe this was the sense of 'Ful-filling' Venture Junrong promised?
Achieving many badges, attaining a new rank soon and overcoming a 4D3N camp? Yeah, I guess :D

I'll try to make my posts shorter next time, sorry! hahaha

Malaysia

Too lazy to find out whens the date I went overseas.
(same reason for why I did not update the blog, sorry!)

It happened on a Thursday.
At that time, my younger cousin, Pei shang, somehow got her passport expired.
Wowzers. Just what we needed.

It also lead to a quarrel between my father and the woman at the check-in counter of the airport.
When she started the conversation with my uncle about the passport expiry stuffs,
I knew she was an arrogant fool.

Heres part of the conversation :

"...no, the POINT is, the Singapore immigration authority...."

The above sentence meant that shes trying to dominate the conversation, as if shes trying to prove him wrong instead of aiding him.
Well... thereafter, I went off to take a seat and start playing the PSP and my sister and two cousins related to me what happened.

My father started quarrelling with that fat lady.
I have to admit - he is in the wrong too, for raising his voice at the trouble we have to take to permit my younger cousin to follow us.

But she nearly did what we would've needed.

She threatened and said :"Do you want me to call the police?"
My father said :"CALL THEN. I M NOT AFRAID"

Please la. The police hotline is only for theft, rescue, danger, etc. , Not meant for settling some minor disputes.
Both of them can settle it in the police station itself.



Day 1 of Sabah Trip.

Nothing much, just having dinner at my relative's house and checking into a resort.

Day 2 of Sabah Trip

Went to some island beach to play para-sailing, jet-ski, sun-bathing, etc.
It was really great and I enjoyed it

Day 3 of Sabah Trip

We went up the mountain for river rafting.
Yeah you know, something like kayaking.
We stayed in a hotel up in the mountain too, for one night.

Day 4 of Sabah Trip

Descend the mountain.
Everyone else except the 3 mountain climbers, who were in the midst of climbing Mount Kinabalu, were to take a flight home to Singapore.
My cousin, Eden, and I, remained in Malaysia, and we did what all boys love to do -
Play computer games in E-cafes.



After returning from Sabah, we still had to travel to KL, to attend our relative's wedding dinner.
No one enjoys the journey through immigration checkpoint and johor bahru till you arrive at the destination.
Either I'm sleeping in the car or playing PSP again, or simply just looking at the scenary...

Saw 2 St. Gabriel's Boys in a shopping mall too, wearing Gabriellite PE T-shirts.
Such a coincidence.

My cousins and I went to a water theme park near the hotel.
I wanted to try flying fox but I don't know how to get up there =.=







Now I m losing my interest for computer games.
While everyone else start getting addicted to Left 4 dead 2, Modern Warfare 2, etc.
I'll take a break until StarCraft 2 is released.
Maybe go for a swim, read a book, watch TV, cycling, something else.

Whenever I log on to facebook, I'll just look at whos online, try to find someone to talk to, and start singing a random song =/ then I go afk or read some posts...

Had backwoodsman cooking again today.
This time we had to use our own ingredients instead of maggie mee.
Results are horrible....
My patrol should use a coconut as a container instead of a watermelon, cause it burned too easily :(
And Coconut has coconut milk which could somehow make the rice taste better.

PL David told me to cut the head, feet of the chicken and to dig the guts out.
I didn't get a proper knife from the den and end up using a fruit knife.

Halfway while removing the head, Venture Xiang Le came over and said he wanted to inspect the chicken when I'm done.
The aunties from the Canteen helped me remove the feet, ass, and some bones from the chicken using a scissors.
They told me I have to dig the shit out too from the ass cause its un-hygienic. yuck...


I moved the chicken to the venture's table for Venture Xiang Le to do something to it.
They kept shouting "AHHHH! GET IT OFF!"
"Take it away!!!"
I was like.... ???? wut. ?.?

They also joked.
"Aiya! make him run rounds during ATC lah!"
One venture then said :" Ey Scout ! Scout! Whats your name? *Told him my name* Ah okay." They started laughing.
LoLs. hahaha

I returned to the firepit, and 15 mins later, the watermelon chao da and break.
The Skewer isn't ready yet, and we met a few problems too.
Our chicken keep falling into the ashes...
The potatos almost became un-retrievable because of goldfish...
The spinach doesn't seem to be cooking well...
Sigh..
At the end of the cooking, we still had to do punishment as a result of bad cooking.

After the meeting end, about 7 scouts went with me to Mcdonald at central.
Ahhh... what a good way to enjoy ourselves after a hard day's work, aye?

Girls need to realize.. ♥

Found this particular e-mail in my inbox while clearing FB junks,
and I thought of sharing it here.




We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.


We don't care if a guy calls>OR TEXTS< you,
but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.

That it can't wait till the morning.


Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.


The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.



Don't be mad when we hold the door open.

Take Advantage of the mood im in.


Let us pay for you!
dont 'feel bad'
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you.


Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.


You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to
wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.


Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.


Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.


Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown,
Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.


Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'
i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.


On the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; )

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!!

Ditch his sorry ass, disgrace to the male population
and find someone who will treat you with utter respect
Someone who will honor your morals.


Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.


Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.


Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.


Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

Written by a guy

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